Understanding Forgiveness

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi



Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Forgiveness is:

1) Giving up your rights to get even.

2) Choosing to stop feeling anger and resentment to the person who hurt you, but letting out your hurt in a positive way.

3) Letting all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God/ higher being.

4) Getting to the place where you can say, I wish for you a blessing.

Forgiveness is rejecting what somebody has done without rejecting them that you can continue to love where you cannot approve. You can offer someone a second chance, an opportunity to leave past errors behind and to move on. Forgiveness helps you to overcome hurt, anger and resentment.

The capacity to forgive, more than anything else, equips you for your relationships.

What Forgiveness Is Not

  • Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending it didn’t happen. It did happen, and we need to retain the lesson learned without holding onto the pain.
  • Forgiveness is not excusing. We excuse a person who is not to blame. We forgive because a wrong was committed.
  • Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful behaviours; nor is it condoning the behaviour in the past or in the future.
  • Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We have to make a separate decision about whether to reconcile with the person we are forgiving or whether to maintain our distance.