Strategies for more Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Strategies for more Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence


The first thing you can do is be clear about what matters and what doesn’t in your different life areas. We can’t be good and confident at everything, so decide what is really important to you and focus on those areas.


  • Prioritise the areas of your life that are important and those that are not.
  • List your strengths and limitation’s in each of these areas.
  • Note your strengths and make sure you nurture and support them
  • Identify the areas where you want to improve your confidence and attain greater success.
  • Break big dreams into smaller achievable goals. Document your progress and be able to see how you are gradually building up mastery in the area
  • Learn from others who are role models- don’t compare, just observe, learn from their approaches and be inspired!
  • Find people who encourage you.


Feelings of low self-esteem often build up over a lifetime, and letting go of ingrained feelings and behaviours is not an easy task. It may take time, hard work, and it may require professional counselling.


Other tips for building self-esteem and self-confidence


  • Use affirmations – Affirmations are encouraging messages we can give ourselves every day until they become part of our feelings and beliefs.
  • Practice positive self-talk – If you keep telling yourself that you’re no good, you might just start to believe it even though it’s not true.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others– Everyone is great at something – what are your strengths?
  • Exercise– helps to improve your mood
  • Don’t strive for perfection-It’s really great if you want to do things well, but keep in mind that perfection isn’t possible.
  • Don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake– it’s in our basic human nature. Why should you be any different? When it happens, just learn from it and move on.
  • Focus on the things you can change– there’s no point wasting all your energy thinking about things that you can’t change. Why don’t you have a think about some of the things that are in your power to control and see what you can do about those?
  • Do things that you enjoy– if you’re doing things that you enjoy you’re more likely to be thinking positively. Schedule time for fun and relaxation into every day.
  • Celebrate the small stuff– Start small and work your way up – you can’t expect any huge progress to be made overnight.
  • Be helpful and considerate
  • Surround yourself with supportive people– Don’t hang around people who bring you down. Find a group of people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who tend to trigger your negative thinking.
  • Be willing to have a go at something new.
  • Say thank you when you get a compliment and feel proud of your efforts.
  • Work at learning and practising new skills so that you feel confident in your ability.
  • Learn to think for yourself.
  • Accept responsibility for yourself and your actions.
  • Believe that you deserve to be happy and relaxed.
  • Be happy with who you are. Don’t try to be all things to all people.
  • Think about changes in your life as a chance to learn something new, meet new people and learn new skills.
  • Be positive and notice positive things around you.
  • Be a happy and caring person and you will attract people to you.
  • Look at what you’ve already achieved. Write down a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life. Think of the things you have achieved. Keep this list close and add to it when you do something you’re proud of. When you’re low in confidence, pull this list out and use it to remind yourself of all the wonderful things you have done.
  • Think of things you’re good at– Everyone has strengths and talents, what are yours?
  • Set some goals– just little things that can be ticked off a list and help you gain self-confidence in your ability to get stuff done.
  • Get a hobby– Try to find something that you’re really passionate about.
  • Set yourself a challenge
  • Face a fear
  • Nurture good self-care techniques


In summary:  prepare for your journey. Think about where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.


In preparation:


  • Look at what you’ve already achieved

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you’ve achieved in an “Achievement Log.”

And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!


  • Think About Your Strengths

Do a SWOT Analysis to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.


  • Think about what’s important to you, and where you want to go

Setting and achieving goals is important here. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful in meeting those targets.

Merge your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each.


  • Start managing your self-talk

Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence.


  • Commit yourself to success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If as you’re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately.


Starting out:


  • Build the knowledge you need to succeed

Looking at your goals, identify the skills you’ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well.


  • Focus on the basics

When you’re starting, don’t try to do anything clever or elaborate. And don’t reach for perfection – just enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.


  • Set small goals, and achieve them

Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement. Don’t make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the habit of achieving them and celebrating them.


  • Keep managing your mind

Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images strong. And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you’re trying something new. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost) start to see them in a positive light.


Accelerating towards success


This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger and the challenges a bit tougher. Increase the size of your commitment. And extend the skills you’ve proven into new, but closely related arenas.

Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence.